On the Page
by myfailsafe
Summary: AU. Implied SasuNaru. When you love someone, never hesitate in telling them.  You might miss your chance.


On the Page

Author's Notes: _Please_ pay attention to the warnings and don't read this if you aren't comfortable with the things mentions in the warnings.

Warnings: _**Tragedy!**_ Angst, fluff, (deals with suicide) shounen-ai and mentions of SasuSaku, NaruHina and so on. Changing point of view, OOC, and so on. Don't like (or uncomfortable with), don't read.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and I make no money from writing this.

"And, when he shall die, Take him and cut him out in little stars, And he will make the face of Heaven so fine That all the world will be in love with night And pay no worship to the garish sun." - W. Shakespeare

On the Page

* * *

Thirteen years ago I met an idiot.

Some scrawny, tan, blond moron. His smile was mischievous and borderline desperate. His voice was loud and downright obnoxious. He was clingy, stubborn and too happy for his own good.  
He was everything I hated and everything I needed.

In one summer he managed to turn my life upside down by becoming my first friend. In one summer he managed to become my biggest rival. In one summer he managed to make me smile.  
We were seven years old that summer. Just seven.

That was when I met Naruto Uzumaki.

* * *

"Sasuke! Come down here!"

A head perked up, turning towards the opened door of his room. A small little pale hand came to dust at the dark locks of hair, checking for paint. His mother's voice had spooked him and his tube of acrylic paint had been squeezed to the point of explosion. Sasuke had lucked out though, it all ended up on the plastic mat.

"Coming mother!"

He bolted out of his room, his plain black socks nearly slipping on the hardwood floor as he reached the stairs. Resiting the temptation to slide down the railing, he bounded down the stairs to his waiting mother and older brother.

His brother opened his arms and took the blunt force of the sudden stop he caused his little brother.

"Sorry Itachi!"

His brother ruffled his hair, and Sasuke tugged lightly on his older brother's ponytail as he stood on the tips of his toes to reach it. Itachi immediately got the hint. He turned around and bent his knees, barely stumbling when Sasuke jumped up on his back and draped his arms over Itachi's shoulders.

"Alright kids, settle down."

The woman smiled as she ran her hand over Sasuke's hair and Itachi's shoulder, giving them a calming touch. She bent down so she was level with their faces and spoke softly to them.

"These people are very important to your father and I, try not to scare them off."

Itachi snorted when Sasuke gave a little pout and their mother laughed.

"Mikoto, they're here!" They heard their father call.

"We're here at the front door Fugaku." She called softly.

The man turned a corner and found himself in the same room. The family resemblance between the four of them was bluntly apparent. The hair, the eyes, the skin – all of it. Fugaku gave the boys a look and Sasuke slid off of his older brother's back and stood by his side instead.

"Best behavior." He said sternly before they heard it.

A loud rhythmic beat began on their front door, and it was quickly accompanied by three voices singing a horribly out of tune song. Mikoto giggled, leaving her children to stare at her confusion. Usually something like this wasn't found as funny, but rather, with their strict family something that would get them yelled at.

"Haven't changed a bit." Fugaku muttered as he moved to open the door.

A flurry of red flashed across the room and the two boys flinched when their mother went crashing to the floor.

"Kushina! Settle down!" A voice called.

The boys watched as their mother laughed helplessly on the floor as another woman had her arms firmly wrapped around her shoulders, babbling something loudly.  
The boys turned to see another man shake their father's hand. He had a loud laugh and a bright smile and wild blond hair.

"Boys, this is Minato."

The two of them stepped forward, Sasuke just barely latching on to his brother's shirt as the two of them shook Minato's hand.

"Spitting image." He muttered. "Someone help us if they have your personality."

Fugaku glared and held back a smack upside a blond head. The group turned as the two women were gathering themselves up off the floor, still in fits of giggles.

"And this is Kushina."

The woman looked the two of them over and smiled, kneeling down to their level and embracing the two of them. She pulled back, her smile contagious. "My goodness. Spitting image. Handsome young men I must say. Do you two want to meet my little boy?"

"Sasuke, he's around your age." Mikoto said.

He instantly nodded. Usually his only playmate ended up being his brother. Not that it was a bad thing, but they were siblings, and siblings tire of each other from time to time.

"He's outside running around." She sighed as she stood.

Mikoto laughed. "Wouldn't surprise me. The two of you are so full of energy I can't imagine how little Naruto is."

"Naruto?" Sasuke inquired as he followed the adults and they headed out through the still open door.

Kushina smiled, her long curtain of red hair swaying. "Yes. That's his name."

A small little boy was running their way, his tan face flushed from the running. A few blond locks were plastered to his damp forehead. It looked as though his hyper activities had carried over from where they had come from.

The blond collided with his father's legs and he huffed for breath. Minato ruffled his hair and laughed and Naruto sagged against his legs.

"Naruto, come here." Kushina said gently.

She knelt with Mikoto as Naruto sagged against his mother as she embraced him, the two women laughing.

"Sweetheart, this is Mikoto. Mommy's friend."

The blond pushed off his mother and shuffled to Mikoto only to sag against her, leaving her to embrace him laughing.

"Definitely your son."

"And that's Fugaku. Daddy's friend."

Naruto went to push out of Mikoto's embrace, no doubt ready to hug this other person that his parents loved. Only, when he looked in the direction his mother pointed, he immediately stopped and went back to his mother. The adults laughed, even Fugaku spared a chuckle.

"He's a loving little guy, huh?" Mikoto practically cooed.

Kushina smiled. "He is. Sweety, these are Mikoto and Fugaku's sons. Itachi and Sasuke."

Naruto's bright blue eyes followed that path of his mother's finger and his tired face instantly lit up. He quickly pushed away from his mom and made a b-line for the unprepared Sasuke.  
The two went crashing to the ground leaving Itachi grimacing and holding back a laugh. Naruto was practically sitting on poor little Sasuke's chest grinning from ear to ear. His little hands shot in the air in excitement before coming to Sauske's face. He squished Sasuke's cheeks together in the palms of his hands.

"I finally get to meet my best friend!"

Dark eyes blinked back shock and confusion as he watched Naruto get lifted away by his older brother. The adults had been too busy laughing to remove the excited blond.  
Naruto began to tug excitedly on Itachi's shirt as he pointed to Sasuke who was picking himself up.

"Mom and dad always talked about how Sasuke was my best friend! I finally get to meet him."

Itachi looked down at the blond and smirked. His little brother was definitely going to have his hands full with this one.

Naruto turned back to Sasuke and smiled. "It's nice to meet you best friend!"

* * *

That's how it started. We were friends without my consent.

Our parents had been college friends and had been in constant contact since. Apparently they had been planning on living in the same neighborhood since their dorm room days. So when they finally followed through with their plans, they could hardly contain their excitement.

Everyday.

Everyday I was either over there with one of my parents or Naruto was at my house with one of his.  
I don't know if it was out of boredom or the simple facet that we were both young boys, but we started competing against each other in _everything_.

It was like that for years. When we were younger it started out with little things. Who could get to the front door first, who could eat their food the fastest, who could belch the loudest.  
He drove me mad and made me happy at the same time.

Only Naruto could manage that.

At ten years old, I realized that Naruto was hands down, my best friend.

* * *

Sasuke opened the door to his house.

School was a success today. His art project won first place in a contest, he was moved up in the gifted program, and he passed both tests he had with far beyond flying colors.  
His mother had made a promise that if he did well she would make him his favorite dinner. Itachi promised to take him out to get slushies. His father promised a new movie.

Ready to cash in on his prizes, Sasuke ran through the house excitedly. His backpack was bouncing around on his back and he even forgot to slip off his shoes.  
He stopped in his tracks in the dining room just outside the kitchen to see Kushina sitting there with Minato, he heard the television on in the living room knowing it was Naruto. His public school got out before Sasuke's private school.

"Hello." Sasuke addressed quietly. For a moment he thought he went home to Naruto's house on habit. It was a Thursday and the families always got together at Naruto's house for dinner.

Kushina looked up from her cup of tea and gave him a small smile.

"Sasuke, come sit down for a moment please."

"Yes ma'am."

He slid off his backpack and quickly slipped out of his shoes while he had the chance. He sat in one of the chairs across from Kushina and Minato took a seat next to him.

"Sweetheart." Kushina began gently. "We need to talk about something very important."

Sasuke nodded fidgeting a little in his seat.

"Itachi was in an accident. Your mother and father are with him..."

"Is he okay?" Sasuke interrupted, throwing his manners out the window.

Minato turned to him this time, taking the lead. "Well Sasuke, they aren't too sure right now."

"So why are you here?" He asked suddenly.

"Well..." Kushina said, getting up from her seat and getting Sasuke a drink. "You're mother and father need to be there with Itachi."

"What about me?" He interrupted again, this time straightening up showing his determination.

Kushina put a cup of juice and a plate of snacks in from of him, frowning slightly. "Your parents don't want you to see Itachi like that. They don't think it would be good for you."

"But I want-!"

"Ah-ah. Sasuke, you need to respect what your parents say. You'll be able to see Itachi in no time I bet." Minato added. "For now we're here to watch you. Your parents should be calling very soon to talk to you, alright?"

Sasuke nodded and pushed his plate away from himself only to have Kushina push it right back. "Eat, young man. I want it all gone. It's one apple. Dinner is pizza tonight, alright? Now Naruto is in the living room, go ahead and go in there."

"Yes ma'am. I have homework." He informed.

Minato gave him a funny look. "Do you always tell your parents you have homework?"

He gave a little nod as he slid off the seat and grabbed the plate and glass with him. He shoved his backpack along with his foot and went into the living room to join Naruto.

"We need to get Sasuke to rub off on Naruto." Minato said when the kid was out of their sight.

"Why's that?" She asked, obviously confused.

"Can you honestly remember the last time Naruto admitted to us he had homework?"

She smiled with a shake of her head. "Yeah, that's true."

"Sasuke!" Naruto perked up in the recliner.

He stopped shoving his backpack with his foot as soon as he had it in front of the couch and then sat down next to it on the floor. He knew he wasn't allowed to have food while sitting on the furniture. The blond slid his way off the chair and sat across from him, cartoons blasting on in the background.

"Want to play a game?" Naruto asked excitedly as Sasuke chomped away on his apple.

He shook his head and took a sip of his juice.

"Want to watch a movie?"

Another shake of the head in response leaving Naruto's shoulders slumping.

"Everything's going to be fine Sasuke. You shouldn't be so sad."

"What makes you say that, idiot? Even the doctors don't know." Sasuke bit.

"Because you're with me. Everything will be okay as long as you're with me. Duh!"

As stupid as it absolutely sounded, he was right.

* * *

Itachi recovered.

His cracked skull healed fine. Apparently there wasn't any brain damage, but I can argue that into the ground.

Now Naruto and I were always around each other more than ever if that was even possible. Despite how much I pretended he annoyed me and that I hated every second, I truly enjoyed every single moment.

The only thing that ever really annoyed me is how competitive he was.

Everything was a competition. When I was younger, I really didn't mind. Those things were pointless bits of fun. So of course when we turned sixteen, all that competing suddenly came to haunt me in the worst way.

* * *

"_You're_ going out with Sakura?" Naruto asked.

"Yes." Sasuke clipped.

"Like..._the_ Sakura? The smoking hot band geek?" Naruto continued.

"Yes."

Naruto let out a low whining noise as he slammed his locker shut and leaned against another, waiting semi-patiently for his best friend.

"I've been trying to get her forever. Your douche-bag talents never stop amazing me."

"How am I a douche this time?" Sasuke asked casually.

Naruto laughed at Sasuke and his tone discussing his rude behavior. "Dude, the best friend code?"

"I haven't killed you yet. I've kept to the code."

Naruto snorted and shook his head. "No, no, no. That whole unwritten rule about don't get with the girl your best friend is going for. As in, don't let a girl come between the two of us."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and slammed his locker, walking off with Naruto following. "Its one damn date. I'm not marrying her."

"One date is still breaking the code. I'm ashamed to know you."

"Then stop walking next to me."

"Nah." Naruto sighed out. "Someone's got to make you look good."

"And how would you be that person?" Sasuke asked with a smirk.

"Come on." Naruto laughed. "This good lookin' guy right here walking next to you? The emo douche-bag from hell? You'd be nowhere without me."

"No, I'd be in private school."

"Dude, whatever. That place was turning you into a zombie. I had to talk your parents into releasing those chains."

Sasuke snorted. "You mean that overly dramatic scene you made at dinner?"

"Yeah." Naruto shrugged.

"I really didn't think my father would ever let you back over to the house."

"Your mom loves me too much. Wouldn't have happened."

"SASUKE!"

The two of them turned towards the loud yell, both of them catching a girl sporting a short skirt and tight shirt. She was waving, trying to grab his attention.

"Man, she looks amazing today." Naruto said breathlessly.

Sakura jogged, her cropped pink hair fluttering around her face. She smiled as she reached Sasuke and adjusted the strap to her bag.

"You never said when you want to go." She said lightly, glancing at Naruto.

"Whenever." Sasuke shrugged.

"Tonight then?" She asked excitedly.

"I'm hanging out with Naruto tonight."

"Oh..." She sounded a little disappointed. "Can you reschedule?"

Naruto went to say of course, considering it wasn't everyday you could go out with Sakura, but Sasuke didn't hesitate in answering.

"No."

"Oh. Okay." Sakura paused before her face lit up brightly. "How about a double date?"

"I can't get a date at the last minute Sakura. I'm not a miracle worker." Naruto said suddenly.

She smiled, "I have someone who's perfect for you!"

"Really?"

Sasuke reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, knowing that no doubt, he was now screwed.

"Awesome!" Naruto declared. "Tonight then? Seven good?"

"Perfect!" She chimed.

"We'll figure everything else out from there."

"Pick us up at my house?"

Naruto nodded. "Sasuke here has a license. We'll see you then."

Sasuke punched Naruto as soon as Sakura was three steps away and the blond turned and punched back.

"Moron!" Sasuke snapped, walking off without him.

"What?" Naruto said catching up.

"I agreed to go out on a date with her, but I never said _when_. I was trying to get out of it."

The blond rolled his eyes. "This will be good for working on your social skills."

"Or my murder skills." Sasuke muttered darkly.

"Well then, it's nice to know who is going to have the better night."

"The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh come on. I'm going to charm them both and leave you in the dust." Naruto said confidently with a little strut. "Seriously. Whoever Sakura brings will fall for me."

"Right, I'm sure." Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Bet." Naruto said surely.

Of course Sasuke bit into it as usual, just like the two of them always did. "I don't want to embarrass you."

"Bring it."

-00-00-

"A button up?" Sasuke asked skeptically.

"A _Polo_?" Naruto returned in the same tone.

"What's wrong with this shirt?"

"Oh come on. That's like the official jersey for douche-bags everywhere."

"Button up shows you're desperate." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Whatever. We'll just see by the end of the night."

"Fine."

The two of them walked out of the bathroom one after the other. They walked towards their table where the girls sat, waiting patiently. Sasuke took his seat next to Sakura and Naruto sat down next to her friend.

Sakura giggled. "You two even go to the bathroom together."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked with an offended tone.

"You two are glued to each other." Sakura laughed. "It's obvious."

"No, it's not. We aren't glued to each other. Are we, Hinata?"

He turned towards his date. He had known Hinata for awhile but as a friend only. Her shy demeanor seemed so opposite of his loud mouth ways. He was always scared she'd run off before something ever got started.

She nodded with a small smile. "You two are."

Naruto threw up his hands and leaned back against his chair. He was shaking his head and smiling at Hinata who was laughing. "You're my date. You're supposed to take my side!"

Naruto dove into a conversation with Hinata at the point. His body language all pointed to her. She was the only person he was paying attention to. He was smiling, laughing and joking. It seemed like in an instant he forgot Sasuke and Sakura were right there sitting across from them.

Sakura tried time after time to kick up a conversation with Sasuke but to no avail. It was all completely one sided the entire time.

"She's liked him for awhile." Sakura whispered suddenly.

Sasuke turned his attention to her, not really noticing he was paying so much attention to Naruto and his date.

"Plus you guys are glued together, so it was always hard for her to get a date. I figured this was a perfect opportunity. They look great together."

"Yeah." Sasuke muttered. "I suppose so."

-00-00-

"Dude!" Naruto called, jogging up the driveway. "Slowdown."

"Walk faster." Sasuke bit.

"What's wrong? Mad cause you lost?"

"No."

"Ah, because I got a kiss and you didn't." Naruto pointed out.

"Not even."

"Don't worry Sasuke!" Naruto chirped. "You'll find that special someone soon enough."

* * *

So of course Naruto and Hinata started dating exclusively.

He seemed happier than he'd been in a long time. Hinata seemed to smile more after that.

Naruto and I were no longer attached at the hip it seemed. In fact, after he started dating Hinata I barely saw him.

I'll admit that it did hurt. It felt like someone stole my best friend. I was jealous.

But I refused to ever tell him that. I didn't want to ruin his smile.

I hadn't talked to him in over six months at one point. We were eighteen.

And of all things he does to get me talking to him again.

Naruto was always accident prone. I swear he gravitated towards injury.

After awhile you learn how to deal with it. You get used to it. You're no longer filling with dread and having flare after flare of anxiety. Because like last time, you know he'll be okay.

At eighteen years old, I realized I couldn't live without Naruto.

Almost losing someone that's important to you can make you see that more than ever.

* * *

"Whatever Itachi." Sasuke sighed.

"Is that anyway to talk to your brother, Sasuke?"

"If said brother is annoying, than yes."

"Now boys." Mikoto laughed. "Stop bickering. You're adults."

"It isn't dinner conversation." Fugaku finished.

"Surely following out on my brotherly duties is fine dinner conversation, father."

"Stop with sarcasm." Mikoto laughed. "Eat your food."

Sasuke and Itachi chuckled as they dug back into their dinner, enjoying the light air of the evening. Mikoto was still giggling while Fugaku was shaking his head.  
The phone rang then, just as the group was settling down. Three sets of eyes landed on Fugaku.

"Let it ring. It's dinner time. Friday night family dinner, where I dare say I let you all get away with more things than I should. It can wait."

"The machine will get it." Mikoto supplied.

They went back to eating dinner and ignored the ringing phone as the shrill noise filled the downstairs of the house. Itachi busied himself with stealing some of Sasuke's food, Sasuke was about to stab his hand and Mikoto was ready to take away Sasuke's tableware. Friday nights were always more interesting because they were allowed to forget the rules one night and goof off. This Friday night was going to be more interesting because of something entirely different.

The automated voice picked up just as Mikoto swatted at Itachi's hand for it's thieving, Sasuke was passing his father the potatoes and they were all enjoying themselves.

The beep echoed in the rooms before a shrill voice yelled out. "MIKOTO! FUGAKU! HELP!"

Fugaku was at the phone before the rest of the family could scramble out of their seats. They all knew that was Kushina's voice.

"What happened?"

His eyes flashed to Mikoto and he made a little sign with his hands and she rushed off. Sasuke and Itachi stood by, waiting.

"Alright, we'll be there soon. Mikoto went to start the car."

Sasuke and Itachi shared a quick look before turning on their heels and heading for the front door where their shoes were waiting. They quickly slipped them on and walked out the front door, leaving their dinner without a care.

Mikoto had just pulled the car up when Fugaku walked out the door as well.

Sasuke and Itachi were climbing in the back of the car when Fugaku hopped in. He quickly glanced to the back before looking at his wife and nodding. She took off at top speed.

"What hospital?" Mikoto asked.

"Central."

"Hospital?" Sasuke questioned.

"What's going on?" Itachi asked.

"It's Naruto."

Sasuke and Itachi both instinctively relaxed. They had rushed to the hospital many times on Naruto's account. This was far past the first time.

"It doesn't sound good." He said in a low tone, obviously trying to just simply address his wife.

Sasuke gave his father a confused look. "What do you mean by that?"

"They're asking for the family to gather."

"As in he's dying?" Itachi asked, not believing what he was hearing.

"It's possible, not definite."

-00-00-

Sasuke was the first one out of the car, across the parking lot and the one to find Kushina and Minato.

"What happened?"

Minato was rubbing soft circles around Kushina's back, comforting her as best as he could. "Mikoto, will you stay with her?"

Mikoto and Minato traded places. All the males walked down the hall a short way and clustered together.

"He was messing around in the garage. We weren't home. He was trapped inside after the fire started..."

"Fire?" Itachi asked.

"I don't know how it started." Minato sighed out, sliding his hands down his face. "He looks so horrible."

"Do you know how bad it is?" Fugaku asked.

"No. They have him on a million machines. They keep saying stuff about lung damage and brain damage...they don't know if he'll make it. He already crashed once. They're hooking him up to more monitors and running tests."

"Where is he?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

"Through the doors, room one. No one can see him right now. They're letting us in, in a few minutes once all the tests are finished. They want to make sure he is stable or something. One doctor tells me one thing and the other tells me the opposite. I really don't know his condition fully."

Sasuke turned on his heel, following a nurse right through the security enabled doors, the three men calling after him. He didn't care. He didn't care how much trouble he would get in. He didn't care how mad they would be at him. He just needed to see Naruto.

He turned right into the room and came face to face with two nurses and a doctor, all of them bustling around his bed.

"I'm sorry sir, but we still aren't ready yet for people to come in."

"Well I'm in." Sasuke bit. "I want a straight damn answer about his condition."

"Sir, that's for family members only. We're going to have to ask you to wait in the waiting room."

"I'm not leaving until I get a damn answer. Right _now_."

"Nurse." The doctor clipped. "Please get security."

"Yes, get security. That gives me two minutes alone here with the doctor."

"Sir, if you want him to get the care he needs, you would be smart enough to leave."

"No. I'm here to make sure he is getting just that. I want a doctor who can produce a straight damn answer and knows just what the hell he is doing. If you aren't that person so help me you will regret it."

"Sasuke!" Minato snapped, walking in a grabbing him by the shoulder. "Let's go."

"No!"

"You need to give them time to work."

Itachi and Fugaku walked in, grabbing hold of Sasuke by the back of his neck and upper arm and thoroughly dragged him out of the room and back through the doors. Once in the hallway, Itachi was kind enough to slam him against a wall.

"Must you?" He snapped.

"No one else is!" Sasuke snapped back.

"Boys!"

It was the same tone that had worked them over all these years. Stern, horrifying and low. Something that commanded authority and respect. A tone that usually led to some sort of punishment.

"This is _not_ needed. You two will go sit down in the waiting room and do exactly what it entails."

"But-" Sasuke tried to argue.

"Now."

With one last slap upside the head via his older brother, Sasuke did all he could do, and waited.

-00-00-

Weeks went by.

Sasuke couldn't remember the last time he had slept in his own bed. It turned into a routine to go home, shower, head to his classes and then stay at the hospital.

Police couldn't rule out whether the fire was accidental or purposeful. After finally getting the go ahead from the police and the insurance company, they started to rebuild it. The living room, which was directly attached to the garage, needed some repair as well.

Naruto's burns weren't nearly as severe as the doctors had originally said. Their main concern was Naruto's lungs. After the smoke inhalation, he had nearly died. The doctors said if he hadn't been pulled out and CPR started on him, only a few more moments could have been the deciding factor.

At first they were afraid his entire body had shut down. Then they were afraid he had been so long without oxygen he wouldn't be able to recover. Problem after problem it seemed.

Every time Sasuke sat with him, he was silently lying on his bed with the machines working most things for him. As days went on, the doctors were becoming increasingly doubtful of his survival without the machines.

"Look..." Sasuke said out loud in Naruto's room. He was alone with him like usual when he gave Kushina and Minato time to go home and freshen up.

"This isn't like you, moron. To sit back and just take all of this. To just let this happen. You're a fighter. Why in the fuck are you giving up, Naruto? I thought you said everything would be okay as long as I'm with you? This isn't okay. You haven't talked to me in months, turns out you and your girlfriend split and _this_ is how you get back in contact with me? This is hands down, first class, bullshit. You need to wake your damn lazy ass up Uzumaki, because frankly, I'm sick of this shit."

It wasn't like he could hear him, Sauske reasoned. But he was tired of this. Everyday worrying, wondering if his best friend was going to wake up or not. Tiring over getting restless sleep in crappy waiting room chairs. Trips back and forth and back and forth. The stress was becoming too much, even for an Uchiha.

The fright of losing someone so important too him was even more unsettling.

He sighed after staring at the monitors for more than a few minutes waiting for some spike or surge to suddenly happen like a miracle scene out of a movie.  
He stood silently when Minato and Kushina returned, the two of them giving Sasuke a warm smile as he moved passed them towards the door.

"Sweetheart, your brother is downstairs getting some food. You should join him and eat something."

Sasuke knew that certain glint in her eye promised him a painful punishment so close to death, so instead of fighting the idea of eating, he nodded and set out for the cafeteria.

Kushina giggled next to Minato when he chuckled. "You don't have to threaten him to eat."

"Oh yes I do. You've met Fugaku, right? Stubborn man, stubborn sons."

"I suppose you're right." Minato sighed, offering his wife the chair. He'd stand till his legs went numb before finally settling on the floor.

"He sure is something." Kushina sighed.

"Who?"

"Sasuke." She laughed. "Did you hear what he said to Naruto?"

He laughed. "Yeah. Definitely an Uchiha alright. Sounded something like the speech his father gave me back in school."

She sighed. "Wish our boy wasn't so thick headed. He might have listened."

The two fell into their usual silence. They occasionally focused on the television that was more on for comforting purposes than entertainment. The usual hours ticked by. The same hours they had been going through constantly. Long and agonizing with no sign of positive hope.

It was ten minutes passed six when one of the machines starting beeping.

The two of them both stood, shocked and horrified thinking something was going wrong all over again. Before they had a chance to react, nurses were rushing in with a doctor trailing behind. They were escorted out of the room by another nurse and put in the waiting room outside of the CCU.

There they found the two Uchiha brother's waiting silently.

Itachi walked off to call his parents about the sudden turn of events while Sasuke started to do something entirely unlike himself.

He paced.

For one hour and thirty-one minutes he paced back and forth in the small hallway outside of the CCU. He only stopped when one very familiar doctor came out of the double doors and went right for the waiting room.

He smiled at Kushina and Minato and clapped his hands together.

"Wonderful news." He smiled. "He's awake. He's alert. We ran some tests and things seem to be functioning as normally as possible for where he is right now. His motor functions aren't the best, and he can't talk due to the breathing tube that's still in. He can use a pen on a piece of paper, but I warn you it is barely legible. He can smile, and he can squeeze something just the slightest bit. But it's such an amazing jump in progress.."

"Can we see him?" Kushina asked, hastily wiping the tears out of her eyes.

"Of course you can. Just the two of you for now. We don't want to strain him with too much excitement."

"Of course." Minato agreed, patting Sasuke's shoulder in comfort.

The two parents followed the doctor back towards Naruto's room, leaving Sasuke to just silently stare as the doors shut in front of him.  
The two of the rushed to Naruto's side and despite how hard they tried to fight back tears, they trickled over. The two of them held his hand, and he smiled around his breathing tube before giving a loose and limp thumbs up with his free hand.

"How are you feeling, son?" Minato asked as he rested his free hand on Kushina's shoulder.

He made a sloppy wave in the air as a sign to let him write it.

Minato grabbed the clipboard off his tray that was hovering over his bed and held it in front of them, the two parents letting go of his hand and giving him the pen.  
They waited patiently. Nearly ten minutes of trying to write and resting.

After three minutes of deciphering the note, Kushina and Minato looked at each other and laughed.  
_  
Get me that bastard, Uchiha._

* * *

Apparently everything I said came to him in a dream or something.

He was furious. But I took his pen away so he couldn't manage to tell me off.

In all honesty, I was just happy he was okay. That he was going to be okay. That he was here.

Even with a breathing tube down his throat and too many machines hooked up to him to count, he still managed to act just like his old self. How he managed to crack jokes, I'll still never figure out.

Him and I quickly went back to our old habits of never leaving each others side. I kept coming to the hospital and when he got released, I was always at his house. We were practically inseparable.  
That's when I noticed all the little signs that pointed to the change that I didn't want to acknowledge.

I was always happy to see him. Just talking to him, about anything, managed to bring a smile to my face. He seemed to be the only person to manage to get to me to laugh. My heart would unwillingly flutter when he called my name. I could only think about _him_.

And of all things, I fell in love with him.

That's right. Love.

I couldn't live without him. He was my sole reason to get up in the morning and what powered me through the day. He was the reason I smiled and laughed. He was my reason for everything.

Today, I lost the only person I have ever truly loved.

* * *

"Are you bailing?" Naruto asked with a frown.

"I'm not bailing." Sasuke said staring down at his phone.

"Then what are you doing?"

"Rescheduling. Just a few extra hours, okay? I have to get this crap done for school."

Naruo huffed. "The one day I ask you to keep yourself clear and you can't manage that."

"It's just putting it off for a few hours, Naruto. We'll still go out."

"You were the one that lost the bet. Don't try to get out of the dinner you owe me."

Sasuke sighed and resisted a smirk. "I'm still buying you dinner, woman."

"Don't call me woman!" Naruto punched his arm with a laugh. "It's not a damn date."

"Twenty years old and you still bitch like one."

Naruto made a face at his friend and then tossed his arms up in the air. He settled back into the cushion on the couch just as Sasuke finished his text message.

"Trust me, I'm not missing dinner."

"You make it sound important." Naruto said in a mocking tone.

In truth, it was.

Sasuke had been planning out this day for months. He carefully baited Naruto into a bet, just barely lost to make it seem like an amazing win for the blond, and then made the rules for loser buys dinner.

He would have one last good and fun night with his best friend before he finally came clean with him.

He was going to tell him tonight when they got home that he was very much in love with him.

He'd take one last moment if that was all he could get. The thought of not telling Naruto had become too great. He couldn't risk not saying anything on chance.

Sasuke stood from the couch and popped his back before looking at Naruto. "I'll be home soon. Then you can break the bank with your food bill."

"Yeah." Naruto mumbled.

"Are you okay?" Sasuke asked at the unusual tone that came from his friend.

Naruto looked up, his eyebrows raised. "Of course, why? Come on, I can live without you for a few hours."

"Alright. Be ready when I get back. I'll text you when I'm on my way."

"Okay." Naruto said hollowly.

"You sure you're alright?" Sasuke asked, his brow furrowing.

Naruto laughed and pushed himself off the couch and shoved his friend, walking with him towards the front door. "Dude, I'm okay. Lay off. When did you get a conscious and a voice of concern?"

"I've had them." Sasuke retorted.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Naruto chuckled.

Naruto opened the front door politely and held it open for Sasuke as he slipped on his shoes. The raven turned to him when he was done.

"Alright, keep your phone on you."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Later." Sasuke said as he pushed open the glass door.

"Goodbye." Naruto said.

Sasuke turned quickly and Naruto gave him a confused look. "What?"

Sasuke frowned. "You made it sound so final."

Naruto laughed to the point he had to lean on the door. "Dude, it's a few hours. What's so final about that?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and gave him a half-assed wave before walking off to his car. The door shut quietly.

Who would have thought it was final?

-00-00-

The front door of the Uchiha home smacked open and Sasuke hopped out of his shoes. He still needed to change before heading out to dinner. He walked through the living room and found the house silent. He shrugged it off, used to his family constantly coming and going. He went for the stairs when he was stopped by a voice.

"Sasuke, we need to talk."

The young man froze at the bottom of the stairs, his hand holding on to the banister. "Can we talk later, mother? I'm a few hours late meeting with Naruto, my study group ran over."

Mikoto appeared in the room, a small piece of cloth in one hand, and her other clutching a phone. Her face was grim and trails of wet eyeliner ran down her cheeks. In all his twenty years of life, Sasuke never saw his mother cry.

He let go of the banister and immediately walked to her, just lightly grabbing her upper arms. A million things flew through his head.

"What's wrong?" He asked as calmly as he could muster.

"Oh Sasuke, I'm so sorry." She whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"You need to tell me what's wrong." He strained. "Where's father and Itachi?"

"With Kushina and Minato." She whispered.

"And Naruto? Did he light the garage on fire again?" He chuckled lightly, the incident now the butt of so many jokes.

She shook her head, one of her hands coming up to cover her mouth as her eyes watered.

"Did he torch the whole house?" Sasuke asked worriedly.

Again, his mother shook her head, this time her eyes closing and tears raced down her face.

"Then what is it?" He asked gently.

She reached a hand up to cup his cheek before she choked out the words. "Naruto died."

"Excuse me?" He snapped.

"It was a...s-suicide, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

"This is a horrible joke." Sasuke bit. "I'll kill him for real. This isn't funny at all."

Mikoto shook her head, her face pained and her tears still falling. "We need to go..."

-00-00-

Yes, I thought it was a joke. That's because Naruto loved to joke. I thought maybe he did what he loved doing, and didn't think it through thoroughly before hand. The Naruto I knew could never do something like commit suicide. He was too happy. He didn't believe in giving up. This _had_ to be a joke. I kept convincing myself that this wasn't real. That Naruto was still going to be home to chew me out for being late. He was going to whine and then drag me around town on a pointless endeavor. He could not be dead.

I found myself in a state of calm shock mixed with a heavy dose of denial. It couldn't be real. It was just another one of those horrifying dreams I get when I eat Naruto's food.  
In all honesty, I shouldn't have drove. I was in a daze, like I was living in a dream land, ignoring the real world and what I assumed was a giant mound of bullshit.

I was yanked roughly out of that dreamland when we pulled up to the house. My second home filled with my second family. It was crawling with police and EMT's. I still denied it.  
I denied it as I walked up the lawn and ignored three officers who barked at me, I faintly heard my mother stopping them to explain. I denied it as an officer escorted me into the house and to the dining room. I denied it over and over again. Right up until the moment I walked in that room and saw Kushina. She was sitting at the table holding her stomach, crying. I don't know why that hit the reality point for me. I just knew as she sat there and pleaded loudly for this all to stop, for it to not be real; I fell apart.

I turned right around and walked out of the house. Without the escorting officer. Without my mother or father or brother. I didn't say a word to Kushina or Minato.

I went right to my car, got in, and I screamed.

-00-00-

I didn't know how long it had been. I punched everything in arms reach till my hands went numb. I kept screaming till my throat tore itself raw. Itachi had come to check on me. I didn't realize when he got there or when he opened the door. I ignored the two officers hovering closely behind him.

I needed to be alone. I didn't want anyone to see me like this. I thought maybe – just prayed and hoped - that this was all a nightmare. Then I would hear Kushina crying for Naruto and I'd choke up all over again.

It wasn't going to be okay anymore.

I was alone, helpless, scared, confused and angry.

He wasn't there to help it disappear. He left me without so much as a reason. He didn't give me a proper goodbye. He left me. Alone.

"Sasuke..." Itachi said gently. "We need you to come back inside."

"No."

I felt his hand rest on my head, and he sighed gently. "Sasuke, he left you a note. They need to know if you want to read it or not. Otherwise it's going to be handed over."

"It will _not_." Sasuke practically growled.

"We're all here with you." He reminded. "You aren't alone."

"Yes." Sasuke said through clenched teeth. "Yes I am."

"Come on." Itachi urged.

Slowly but surely, he manged to drag his little brother out of the car. As stiffly as Sasuke's body could get, he shuffled across the front lawn. Part of him was dreading this. Reading Naruto's last words.

The other part was nearly eager.

He found himself back in the dining room with only his brother and another random officer. Itachi quietly informed him that their parents were with Kushina and Minato.

Itachi sat him down at the table and the police officer handed over the paper and then quietly exited the room. Sasuke, with shaky hands, unfolded the paper and read.

Sasuke -  
I wanted to have one last night with you. One last fun night. I'm sorry I couldn't hold on any longer. As a goodbye, there is something I need to tell you...  
I never knew how to say it. I was too scared to lose you. I needed you, and I was selfish in not wanting to let you go. Now I can write it down for you to see and not have to worry about holding you back. This is my last and only chance. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I could write it a million times. Till my hand falls off. You, of all people. The person the pisses me off the most, that pushes all my buttons till I'm ready to explode, the person who teases me endlessly. You, the person who is glad to see me, who only smiles around me, the person who made me feel complete. I am hopelessly in love with you. My best friend. My guy, best friend. Please don't hate me. Please. I just couldn't do this anymore Sasuke. I tired so hard, but I just can't. I tried with the garage, and you managed to pull me back. But I can't do this anymore. It all hurts so much. I can't take the pain. I wish I could explain this better so you could understand. I'm so sorry.

Reasons to Live:  
You.  
My Parents.  
Your Parents and Itachi.

Reasons to Die:  
No more hurt.  
No more torment.  
No more teasing.  
No more loneliness.  
Peace.

More reasons to die...I'm truly sorry. The thought of you hurting does pain me. The thought of my family and your family mourning after me upsets me. I want more than anything for you all to continue to be happy. But please know I just couldn't do this any longer. None of this is your fault, or my parents or your parents or Itachi's. If anything, you guys held me together just a little longer. I'm sorry I couldn't last. I'm sorry I'm not brave like you. Or as strong willed. I'm sorry. Please, just forget about me and move on Sasuke. Please, from the bottom of my heart, live life to the fullest.  
I'm so sorry.  
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you...  
-Naruto.  
_  
_

* * *

Death is simple – easy. Less to deal with, less to think about, and less to care about. It's peaceful and careless. Something that we're destined for. Something that, sometimes we're impatient for. We escape the pain of real life that hurts us, breaks us and can destroy us.

Naruto was in pain. A pain that I can never even begin to understand.

I feel like, that not only did I fail as a best friend, but as a person. All the signs were there underneath the painful mask. I couldn't see past it. He wanted one last night with me, one last and fun moment, and I couldn't be there for him with that. I couldn't save him. I failed.

The only relief I can find in this entire situation is knowing he isn't in pain any longer. That I know he's finally at peace.

I do feel pain. I feel anger. I feel betrayal. I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel confused. But I can deal with all that knowing Naruto doesn't feel that pain any longer. He left behind two loving and wonderful parents. Those parents, to whom I owe a great amount of thanks to. They gave me my best friend and my first love. He left behind the largest group of friends I've ever seen. Naruto touched many lives and hearts, and it shows more today than any other.

I can still hear his laugh. I can still see his smile. I can still remember his pranks. I can still remember everything; just like it all happened yesterday.

The one thing that Naruto asked for that I cannot comply to is forgetting him. I can _never_ forget him.

Sasuke sucked in a deep breath as he fingered the pile of paper in his hand. "Thank you."

He collected the papers that were sitting on the podium and stepped down, his shoulder just missing a large arrangement of flowers. His fingertips ghosted the coffin as he walked past, silently wishing it wasn't real.

He took his seat once again and ignored the curious stares and the disgusted glares he was receiving. Everything deserved to be said about Naruto. The good and the bad. He deserved that much. The world needed to know that someone loved him more than they could ever describe. That he touched someone's heart that was supposedly unreachable. People needed to know he had a wonderful family, amazing friends, and a great life. Everyone needed to hear that it wasn't okay to just simply let it go and forget. Everyone needed to know it was okay to be mad and upset and happy. It was natural to be confused and cry till it hurt.

Everyone who touched Naruto's life deserved that, if anything, to know Naruto loved them all.

They needed to know that one day, it wouldn't hurt nearly as bad.

Naruto wouldn't want that.

He would want us to smile, to laugh, and most importantly, live life to its fullest.

As absolutely impossibly hard that seemed, I was sure I could do it.

Because I could never forget the love I had for him.

I could never forget Naruto Uzumaki.

* * *

Author's Notes: xD Well, now that I got _that_ out of my system, I'll try working on something more uplifting. Pfft, yeah, right.


End file.
